Just Because

Just because you don't want me in the same way I want you doesn't mean there is something fundamentally wrong with me. So why do I feel like there is?

I gave you everything I had, nothing was held back. You knew every corner of my soul, and then you didn't want it. Why?

I know there's nothing wrong with me. Or at least, I think I do. I'm OK with who I am. Why aren't you?

And through all of this, why can't I convince myself that you're not the one for me? That you and me would never work like I once dreamed it would, that we can still be friends despite all the emotions that lie just beneath my surface?

It will be a long, rough path, but you'll see. Soon enough I'll be back on my feet, strong and proud of who I am.

It will just take some time.

I'm Here!

I'm back, after two days of driving, multiple bathroom stops (after which my grandma felt she needed to inform us of certain details that I did not need to be informed of. ever.), and a lot of moving boxes around. I'm moved in and mostly settled. It's been good to see everyone, even though not everyone's here yet. But I'm looking forward to seeing them, too!

Do you have that friend who you love, but can't be around for more than maybe an hour or two? Then you spend a whole day with them, listening to them whine and ask you to do things which you'll do because you're too nice to say no, but not nice enough to avoid ranting about it on your blog later? And you know that she says she'll do something to repay you, but she's been saying this for the two years you've known her and she has yet to really come through on that? Yeah, that's been my last day and a half.

I think that's about it. I just wanted to let my readers know I arrived safely in my second home.

Zero (or, technically, .5ish)

The time has almost come. In a few short hours, I'll be leaving once again for another year of crazy adventures, studying, and the company of great minds and hearts. But we never truly stop learning, and let it be known that just because I haven't been sitting in a classroom these past three months, I learned plenty.

I learned that even if you don't reach a goal you've set, you still benefit from the process of reaching for it. I had a goal to lose 20 pounds this summer, and I didn't quite make it, mostly because I love food too much. But even though I didn't lose exactly 20 pounds, I still came pretty darn close, and that alone should make me proud of myself. I learned some self-discipline (there were some days where it was VERY difficult to get up and go run), and even though I didn't drop sizes on my clothing, I feel that much better about myself, because I made some progress, and that's better than none.

I got to spend time taking care of some wonderful (and some not so wonderful) kids this summer, and they really opened my eyes. It's been a while since I spent time with anyone that young, and they taught me the importance of being young and innocent again, and that yelling and being stern isn't always the best way to get someone (especially someone that young) to go along with you or listen to you. Sometimes simple reason is all someone needs, or you need to come up with a compromise.

I'm sure there was more that I learned this summer, but I'm far too excited to focus on it right now. Seward, I will see you in a day and a half.

One

Maybe this is a trait unique to me, brought on by years of reading fantasy novels when I was younger. And the ones I read now. And the ones I will continue to read as I progress in years. Regardless, reading these stories makes me want to be a hero. Accepting the call to adventure, feeling the freedom and independence and responsibility of the journey of a hero.

As someone who enjoys writing (but doesn't do it nearly as often as he should), I find literary techniques to be rather interesting, especially when they combine with the idea of the Hero. At this crossroads we find the template of the Heroic Journey.

Without going into too much detail, the story of the Hero has a few basic steps. There's Departure, in which the Hero is assigned his (or her) task and, well, departs. There's usually some hesitation, but by the end of this first part, the Hero is on his (or her) way to being just that, a Hero.

The second step is Initiation. Initiation of the journey, and initiation into the world. The Hero-to-be realizes that things are not plain and simple as they were when they were young. The world is full of both good and evil, power and weakness, and the Hero realizes this and learns exactly what it is they need to do to be successful.

Finally, the Return. This is the ending, the denouement. The Hero's journey is through, the bad guy defeated. Sometimes the Hero is glad to return, for things to be the way they were before. Other times they fight it. After having drunk of this power, this freedom, why would they leave it behind?

The part that really gets me thinking, is how can this be shown in my own real life? I'm not a character in a book, after all. I don't get tasked with a divine mission of taking out the ultimate evil and saving the world, the Hero's Journey can't possibly apply to me in such depth, can it? Well, maybe not exactly, but in a metaphorical sense, the Hero's Journey plays itself out many times throughout life. College, for example. Many people are scared and nervous when they get ready to head off (Departure). Yet after all the experiences and excitement (Initiation), they are sometimes reluctant to come back and go back to living in their parents' house for the summer, working a summer job (Return).

That's just one example. How are you a Hero?

(Note: This was my main source in the parts of the Hero's Journey. It's an interesting read, in my opinion.)

Two

I'm beginning to think I numbered these wrong, or that I missed a number somewhere along the way. But that's not important right now.

I'm thankful that, despite all the work that went into it, I got to see so many of my family members today in a huge get-together before I head back off to college. As much fun as it was, that's not what's on my mind right now, either.

What I'm thinking, right now, is of one of the wonderful role models in my life. A fellow blogger, she has inspired me to keep a (somewhat) daily log of what I think and feel. By opening up and sharing a bit of herself every day, I like to think I'm doing the same thing. Maybe I'm not quite as good at it as she is, but then again, she's a little bit older and infinitely wiser than I am. She's not afraid of showing that she, like everyone else, is imperfect and vulnerable.

She sets great examples for me and everyone else in her faith, her 'can do' (and canning) attitudes, and in her writing. I could go on and on about how inspiring she has been to me this summer, and how much I look forward to reading her work every day, but I don't want to seem like I'm brown nosing, here.

All I will say is that I'm both excited and honored to be a student of Lisa Smith both in the past and this coming semester, and that whether or not she reads this, she has been one of the greatest recent influences in my life.

Three

I'm tired and really don't have much to say today. Instead, here's some videos for you to enjoy.

You can ignore the video on that last one. I just like the audio ("Ireland's Call" by Celtic Thunder). It's a pretty epic song, in my opinion.

Four

I wish I could live in a castle. Not one of those big houses that you think is a castle when you're a kid, just because it has two stories and a pool in the backyard. No, I wish I had a castle like the kind you dreamed about as a kid, with turrets and a moat and a giant banquet room where you could entertain all your friends and family. Hidden away in a forest, your own little slice of heaven.

Castles are cool. That's basically what this is saying. The soaring arches, the secret passageways, everything about castles just appeals to the imagination. Well, that's my opinion on it, anyway.

Five

Today was (mostly) the kind of day summers are supposed to be about. I spent time with friends (and my goddaughter) playing video games and just hanging out, and I got texts all day from several different friends of mine (none of which I initiated, by the way). I'm choosing to block out the four hours I had to spend at a museum waiting for my sister to receive a scholarship during a ceremony where they only had crappy food.

So maybe it sounds like I'm getting overly excited about some little things, but isn't that what life's all about? You can't win the lottery or get married every day (well, you could, but it seems unlikely), so it's important to find the little things to take joy in. The little messages from friends, the time you get to spend with those dear to you.

"Cherish this moment, for happiness is elusive..."

Six

I need to work on my bucket list. Not because I'm planning on dying anytime soon, but the sooner I make a bucket list, the sooner I can start working on it. This means that I have a better chance of accomplishing everything on it prior to dying. Let's start, shall we?

-Finish a novel

-Hug a panda

-Play the role of 'Dr. Horrible;' on stage (or on screen, I'm not picky)

-Call someone a 'soulless harpy' (and mean it)

-Be considered an expert of something

-Go to Europe (specifically Ireland)

-Have a job where it's acceptable to wear tshirts, jeans, and converse every day to work (though obviously not the same tshirt and jeans every day, that's gross)

-Be quoted

-Be in Seward for the Fourth of July celebration

-Be in a legit barbershop quartet

And that's all I can think of for now. It's a start, though!

Seven

As much as I love traveling, I hate packing. Trying to condense your life into a set space isn't easy. There's things you want to take with you but you run out of room for, things you forget that you want to take with you until you get to your destination some miles away and remember, and things that you have no desire to take with you, but you know that they'll be useful and necessary.

So I guess that's my little discourse on packing. Not the longest or most exciting of my posts, I know. But at least now I'm caught up on my numbers!

Eight (also late)

Do you have that one pair of jeans (or sweatpants, or a tshirt, or whatever) that is just perfect? Not too tight, not too lose, it's got just the right amount of pockets, and it fits you like the clothing designer read your mind, found the perfect article of clothing, and made it exactly for your specifications?

Have you ever tried to replace that item?

It's darn near impossible. I have a pair of jeans that is beautiful, perfect in every way. I didn't pay an exorbitant amount for them, and they just work. But now they're getting close to the end. The hems are getting frayed from where I've accidentally tread on them, the knees are wearing thin. Yet I'm going to keep wearing these jeans as long as I possibly can. They fit right, they work, they make me happy (or at least as happy as a pair of jeans can make someone).

Nine (Late)

Alternatively titled: Everything gets better when everyone's hammered.

We had a family dinner last night. Within ten minutes, it was on the slippery slopes to one of the worst family get-togethers in history. Fortunately, my mom had the idea to pull out a giant bottle of wine and poured some for all the adults. Things got better after that.

That's the short version. The long version involves my grandmother (who I do love very dearly) just generally not being happy about anything since my grandfather died, and my uncle voicing this loud enought for her to hear from the kitchen. Then she started muttering about how he could go to hell and she walked off to be on the computer for a while (but she only ever plays games on it. Not, like, Modern Warfare or World of Warcraft, but the easy online games from a website called pogo. It's what people who stay at home all day and don't have to take care of children or work do for fun). My sister, her friend, my cousins, and I all just kinda sat there awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

Then my mom broke out the wine, and life was good again. I was in charge of the french fries, and since all I'd had to eat that day was a salad, and it was hot, and I was moving around, and apparently I'm kind of a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, it made for an interesting experience.

For the record, since my mom gave it to me, it's cool that I was drinking, even though I'm only 20.

I do love my family, but we have our problems and our bad days just like everyone else. Um, I think that's it. Now I need to come up with a topic for Eight...

Ten

"If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill

For those of you who live down in this direction, you know what the weather's been like. For those of you who don't, let me just say that temperatures above 100 degrees are no longer surprising. You step out the door and the heat rolls over you like a steamroller. The sun, relentless, sucks the energy out of you, draining you, until it's all you can do to drag yourself inside and flop down on the nearest piece of furniture, ready to sleep for the next three days, yet knowing that you have to be ready to go back out there tomorrow.

While this likely isn't the type of hell Mr. Churchill had in mind, it's certainly my idea of it. Those of you who know me know that I way prefer cold weather to hot. You can always put on another layer, but you can only take so much off before you upset people. Plus cold weather gives you an excuse to fire up the oven and bake, or make hot chocolate, or curl up under a blanket and read or watch a movie.

There are many other types of hell, sure. Feeling separated from those you hold dearest to you. That something (or someone) you want more than anything else being just out of reach, and knowing that you'll never get it. Or (fill in the blank). But as Mr. Churchill said, keep going. You'll find yourself on the right side of the situation soon enough, and you'll be that much stronger because of it.

Eleven

Today was my last day of work. It was kind of bittersweet. Some of those kids were great (even if they were kind of obnoxious at times), and I'm really going to miss them. Others, well, I may have smiled a little broader than usual when I bade them farewell. Today may have been crazy, and chaotic, and a little miserable at times, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Not the hugs goodbye I got from the kids, or the time I got to spend with them at the park today, or even the 8 times one little girl tried to escape this morning. (She was determined to escape and run home, and at one point she almost succeeded.) But I wouldn't change this experience for anything. I've learned that no single person, regardless of how patient they might think they are, can supervise 20 kids by themselves and avoid yelling. I've learned that kids can be the biggest trouble, but also bring the greatest reward.

Twelve

Those of you who know me know that I have a propensity to plan ahead. Well, sometimes. If it's something I'm excited about, I plan WAY ahead. If it's just something I have to do, it generally slips through the cracks. This is why I can tell you what I'm doing for my birthday (October), or my costume plans for Halloween, or how I'm getting home for Christmas break, or that there's a Renaissance Fair in April that I'd love to go to. Yet I can't tell you important things, like where all my classes this semester are going to be. It's just another little quirk of mine, I suppose.

Thirteen

Dear people who have facebooks:

Don't make your profile picture one of you kissing your significant other. You can make it a cutesy shot all you want, fine. But when the rest of the internet has to see you swapping spit with your honey every time they want to talk to you, they may not want to talk to you anymore. I'm happy you guys love each other, good for you, really! But seriously. Kissing is gross.

Fourteen

I made a packing list today. I'm sure I left something off, as I always do when I'm getting ready to go somewhere. It's usually something small, yet important. I've left my pillow before, my wallet (we had to go back and get that one, oops), it's always something you take for granted as having, until you don't have it.

I guess that could be said about a lot of things, though.

Fifteen

In order to get back into the swing of doing something productive on a daily basis, I'm gonna start counting down the days until I once again return to Seward. Fifteen days from now I'll be in the van, packed to the brim with stuff I need and stuff I don't. I'll watch the miles roll past (or, more likely, I'll be watching the inside of my eyelids) and get more excited with each passing minute.

Let the countdown begin, the return is coming soon.

Someone

“Sometimes all I really want to do is sit beside you. I want to watch cheesy and crappy movies with you, and we will laugh at them together. I want to plan things with you, things we’ll never do, but for some reason just planing them with you is fine with me. I want to talk to you about everything and anything. I want to goof around with you and make jokes that aren’t funny but we’ll laugh nonetheless.”

I found this quote the other day while I was stumbling, and it had no name attributed to it*. Even though I didn't say this, I feel like I could have. It's so beautifully simple, and it sums up how I'm feeling right now. There's someone who just makes me feel stupidly happy whenever I think about them**. They shouldn't, as there's been no sign that they want to be any more than friends. I just can't help myself. Every time I get a message from this person, or talk to them, I get all smiley.

I have no idea what will happen in the future, or if anything will even happen. For all I know, we'll just be friends. Nothing more than friends who spend time together, and laugh a lot, and talk to each other through the years.

Or maybe we'll be friends now, and as we continue to grow up, we'll grow apart. We won't get rid of each others contact information, as we intend to call each other "some time soon," but we don't, and we grow old and losing contact with each other is one of our major regrets.

Or maybe we'll fall in love, get married, and grow old together, planning things that may or may not happen, and watching movies together, appreciating the good ones and mocking the bad ones. We'll laugh at things that aren't funny, but we're not laughing because we're amused. We're laughing because we're sharing that moment with each other. We're laughing because we're together, and there's nothing that can stop us.


* I didn't want to break the fluidity I was feeling up there, but if you know who said this quote, please let me know so I can credit them.

** Don't ask who I'm talking about, please. Chances are, if I wanted you to know, you'd know already.

Green Thumb

There are so many good things out there that we have to be thankful for. All manner of things that give us warm, fuzzy feelings inside. One of those things that I have had the immense joy of experiencing is the blossom of a new friendship. When you talk to someone that you've known for a while, but never really talked to. The moments of discovery as you find out that you have different things in common, things that you thought we're probably unique to you. The moments when you begin to open up to one another, sharing bits a pieces of yourselves. Nothing big to begin with, but as time goes on, you share more and more of yourself.

Sometimes it's intentional. You see something that person left, a writing, or a drawing, or an idea shared with you by someone else. You think that this person is someone you might like to get to know better.

Other times it's just crazy random happenstance. As yo go through your day, you cross paths with someone else, and they leave a footprint inside you. You find the shared interest, the thing that ties the two of you together. You begin there, and from that point spreads ideas, jokes, and good times.

Oftentimes you won't be able to tell which it was.

I challenge you to look around you and find a friend. Now pinpoint the moment you became friends with them. Not the first time you spoke, necessarily. Just the first time you thought of them as a friend, rather than an acquaintance. If you're anything like me, you can't.

I wrote an essay for a writing class last semester about how friendship is like a plant. How you can look at it every day and barely see the growth. But when you look back on what it looked like at the beginning, and how you now have a beautiful plant, well, I think friendship is pretty similar.

I just wanna take this moment to thank all the people who have grown plants with me. I wouldn't be who I am without you all.

The Eternal Struggle

It's a battle that men and women have waged since time immemorial. A battle that, despite their best efforts, they nearly always seem to be on the losing side of. What I speak of now is one of the greatest clashes that ever existed in history. 'Tis the battle of man versus the scale.

Whether it's because of a family history of weight-related issues, because of more pressing dietary issues, or simply because you're tired of having to buy XL clothes, it never hurts to shed a few pounds. Well, it does if you have an eating disorder, but that's different, and not something to joke about. I'm talking about losing weight the good old-fashioned way: diet and exercise.

Diet, to me, means you just watch what you eat. You don't have to change to expensive diet food, or eat tiny portions that don't fill you up. I've simply cut back a little bit on how much I eat, make sure I have leftovers to take home whenever I go out, stuff like that. Getting a salad instead of a burger at a fast food place. Heck, some salads are pretty darn delicious.

Exercise. Just get up and do something. Go on walks, jogs, runs, do sit ups in the morning. Do a combination of everything I listed. Do things I didn't list. Some way to burn the calories you're ingesting is good. Just make sure and keep some sort of balance. Don't cut way back on your food and increase your activity drastically. You'll be tired all the time and not have enough energy for everything else.

Now, I don't pretend to be an exercise science guru, or anything. I'm just telling you what I've been adhering to for the last several weeks, and it's working for me. I've lost almost ten pounds already. It's not the quickest way to lose weight, but it's a great feeling, watching the numbers on the scale decrease almost daily. Find something that works for you and stick with it.

I repeat, I'm no expert on the stuff, so think of this as less of a how-to and more of an encouragement post. If I can do it, so can you!

Update: I just remembered the whole reason I wanted to talk about this, to vent my frustration, given that I'm trying to lose weight, yet my stumble keeps giving me all manner of glorious baked good recipes. Darn you, stumble.

Time

It's been a while. I wish I could say that I have all manner of new and exciting things to say right now, but I really don't. I've just been working at my summer job, taking care of kids at my church's day camp, and it's been keeping me busy. And tired. I have plenty of stories I could tell, but a lot of it might just sound like me complaining, so maybe I'll wait a while longer, until I can put these stories in the same light I see them in. The light that shows that I'm really having fun, despite what it may sound like at times.

I miss my friends. It feels like a bit of me is missing without them around. All I want is to be with them again, to hang out like we used to. But things can never be "like they used to." Even when August rolls around and I'm with them again, we'll all have grown a little bit. And I'm thankful for that growth, in me and in everyone else. And yet, if I could have one wish right now, it'd be to be sitting on the futon watching Firefly, or sledding down the hill on a futon box, or playing Dungeons and Dragons on a Saturday night, or in Kansas City with Cayde and Paul (because Micah was definitely not there).

Maybe time's getting me down. Watching a show about the last Time Lord will get you thinking about time and how it changes things (you get a prize if you can tell me what show I've been watching). I don't like the fact that I'm about halfway through college already. I look back and wonder where the last two years have gone. Seems like only yesterday I was working at Target and whining about how I couldn't wait to go to college. Two years later, I'm feeling much the same thing. As much as I love the kids, I need to get back. To see Li'l Pete, and my new roommate Micah, and my dad Cayde, and my neighbors Paul and Cory, and my female half Mallory, and everyone else. I even kind of miss my professors. If any of you are reading this right now, talk to me! Please! I'm going crazy here!

Not that being home isn't great, but it's not completely home anymore. It's as though home is a piece of fabric, and while before it was a whole piece, it's now been ripped in half. Half is here and the other half is in Nebraska, waiting for me to return to it. Don't worry fabric, I'm coming.

Graduation

So I feel like I should write another post. It's been a while, after all. Yet I feel like I have so little to write about right now. I was off in Colorado for my Outdoor Christian Education class for a week, which was pretty fun. Then I came home and lounged about for a while. I'm getting ready to start work soon (working with 2nd and 3rd graders at a day camp), but before that I have two graduations to go to and a party to help my mom host. My sister's graduating high school, which means I'm getting old. I've been out two years already, and turn 21 in less than six months. Geez.

Of course I'll (probably) see old friends at my sister's graduation, which gives me mixed feelings. On one hand, it might be nice to see everyone again, make sure they're all still alive, stuff like that. But on the other hand, I've talked to so few of them in the past months that I don't think it's really that big a deal anymore. They're just people to hang out with while I'm at home so that I'm not confined to my family for three months.

Then I have my cousin's graduation. She's great, and I want to support her, but driving into downtown Austin, fighting through the crowds at the Irwin Center, sitting still for two hours (sitting still isn't really my thing), clapping for a few seconds when they call her name (a 'V', no less. No sneaking out early for me), then fighting back out through the crowds of people leaving one graduation and those coming to the next one, getting back to our parking spot (which will be Lord knows where), and then fighting through the traffic to wherever we're going after that. It gives me a headache thinking about it.

Maybe I complain too much, I dunno. Regardless, that's what'll be going on for me this week. Hooray?

Some people

Some people choose not to take the easy path, to write about something grander than the fact they miss their friends as everyone goes their separate ways for summer break.

I'm not some people.

I miss each and every friend who has left this campus for summer, and even some of the ones who are staying here in Seward. I realize we'll all be back together in three months, that it'll go faster than we might think. Maybe that's true.

But for now, I'm going to try to think happy thoughts, and simply wish everyone a safe and fun summer. Come back with stories, with presents, but most of all, just come back.

Happy summer, everyone. I miss you.

Packing.

I hate this time of year. The transition between school and home. When everything at school is packed, most of the friends are gone, and your RA is breathing down your back to get you checked out of your room.

This year is extra weird for me, as I get to move into a friend's house, then to Colorado for a week (for summer class), then back into my friend's house, then home. It's weird and a burden on a lot of people, and I hate it. I hate being a burden in general, really, but I especially hate it when it's something like this.

Why do things have to play out like this? We have to spend our last week taking tests and packing all our belongings into a few boxes for easy transport, when we'd rather be with our friends, just doing nothing. There's only so many times you can say 'I hate packing' (I think I'm on number 37) and you can only put it off for so long before you're suddenly looking at a still completely unpacked room just a half hour before you have to leave. Not that this has ever happened to me, of course.

It's been a great year, though, and I'm thankful for everything about it. Friends, both new and old, the traveling (to Iowa, mostly) that I've gotten to do, and just the experience in general. Life's been pretty good to me for the past nine months, I really can't complain.

Now, to finish packing...

I Owe You

So you guys deserve a new blog post. It's been a while, I feel. But I don't know what to write about. Maybe I'll write about two of my best friends. Yes, I think that would be acceptable.

First, there's Dottie. I met Dottie my first semester, but didn't really get to know her until recently. I knew she was from Texas, and did a lot of theatre, and was pretty cool, but that's about it.

Second, there's Micah. He is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best friend I've ever had. He might get tired of hearing this, but I don't care. I'm not tired of saying it yet, so he can deal. We have a lot in common, but there's enough differences between us that we still complement each other well. It is, in my own humble opinion, something special to behold.

So last weekend was the first time the three of us really got to hang out, and I am glad that it happened. I don't know if I can really describe the feeling if you don't already know it. The moment you realize that you want to stay in touch with these people for the rest of your life, when you realize that you've found more than just a friendship. The moment you realize you've found the kind of friendship they write stories about. The moment you realize that you love these people and want only the best for them. It's not a romantic love, but it's something more than a basic friendship love.

The ancient Greeks had multiple words for love, and I know there was a term for this type of love. Perhaps if I had stayed with my Greek I would know it. Regardless, there's a glimpse of how I feel about two of my best friends.

I Want to Hear it All

I was listening to music with one earbud in, as is my custom to do when my roommate is around. I'd hate to have them both in and appear distant to one of my friends. Then he started talking on the phone, and I put the other one in, not wanting to unintentionally eavesdrop, as I tend to do since I'm kind of nosy. As I put it in and the sound surrounded me, I realized what I had been missing. By completely indulging myself in the music, I could hear everything it had to offer. A whole other melody was playing, and I had been missing it. This caused me to think: what else am I missing? By not wholly surrendering to something, what have I not even known about?

So I guess all I'm trying to say here is that if there's something you've been halfheartedly partaking in, try just once giving yourself in to it completely. Find out just what it is you've been missing. Whether it's a friendship, or an activity, or whatever, give it a chance. Just once, do that and nothing else. You might be surprised by what you find.

No Excuses

So I got my computer back today, and there was much rejoicing! However, I now have no excuse for putting off the things I need to do, which include lesson planning and a BUNCH of writing. I have ideas I need to put into my novel-in-progress, my final project for my Independent Study, my portfolio for Intermediate Writing, and several other things. This may not sound like too much, but it's simply a lot of writing.

Somewhere in my vast collection of shirts, I have one that says, "Procrastinate: Because if the world ends tomorrow, you won't have to do it." I tend to agree with this statement. However, it poses a problem when you procrastinate on multiple things and wind up having a bunch of stuff to do all at once.

Though if you're reading this blog, I'm likely preaching to the choir.

So, it's time to buckle down and start writing. Blog posts, fiction stories, response papers, lesson plans, you name it, I'll be writing it sometime during the next 4 weeks. End of semester? Bring it on.

Untitled.

So it's been a while. Again. Sorry about that. I haven't had my laptop, and it's made things kinda weird for me. I have to go out in public when I write, which I've found I hate. When I write, I either want to be completely alone, or only have a couple close friends around. Not giant crowds of college students that I don't know. It makes me nervous, and I feel as though my writing quality has decreased a little bit. The good news, though, is that my laptop is on it's way back to me! I got an email this morning saying that they fixed it and are sending it off. That's good news. I miss my computer. So I wish I had something else interesting to say, but I don't really. Well, at least nothing else that I think is interesting. You all might have some different opinions. Perhaps you think I'm the most interesting person in the world. But I don't. So that's that. I'm just a guy who has an awesome group of friends and can write. Really well, according to the aforementioned awesome group of friends and a few professors. The problem is that a lot of the things I've started in on are simply untitled. Even works that I've got a good start on are labeled in my writing folder as 'Untitled', 'untitled', 'Untitled 2', etc. It's especially frustrating when I want to find a specific project and just can't. That's more my fault than anyone else's, but yeah, it's obnoxious. Woo, class time.

Bacon

So I can't recall if I've ever before mentioned my theory of universal ingredients. I believe I have, but just in case I haven't, here's a brief overview: Three ingredients can be paired with any dish ever. Cheese, chocolate, and bacon are these three ingredients. But I was thinking earlier while looking through this article that my friend Katie sent me that bacon is weird looking. Like, why do we eat it? I know it's because it's delicious, but who was the first person to look at wiggly, uncooked bacon and think that it would be delicious when fried up and served with everything? Certainly not I. I have to go do things now, but that was just a fun thought. Kthxbai.

And So It Begins...

Well, I officially handed my computer over to the post office today. From there it will be sent out to be repaired. I'll be without my computer for approximately a week or so. But it's ok! I'll take this opportunity to better myself! I'll write in notebooks instead of word processors. I'll read books instead of internet articles. I'll spend time outside instead of online. Or maybe I'll just watch more TV. Just kidding. This is a great opportunity to do things I've been wanting to do for a while, but never got around to. Unless, of course, those things are on my computer. So how am I writing this now, you ask? Two words: School. Computers. They're a blessing and a curse. I have a nasty habit of leaving my flash drive (which now has all my really important documents on it) plugged into a computer once I've printed off or done whatever I needed to. That'll have to change. Also, sometimes they're all being used. Then what do you do? Go cry in a corner, I suppose. I haven't found myself in a situation where I need a computer but don't have my own personal one to fall back on. This coming week is going to be interesting... So my good friend Mama Anna posted on her blog (found here) about how English majors are kinda their own niche that fits into every other niche. I can't say I disagree with her. While I profess to be a Behavioral Science major, I feel as though I'm definitely an English major at heart. I picked up a Writing minor, at least. That's gotta count for something, right? Well, let's look at her checklist. -No real options after graduation: well, if it weren't for my DCE program, this would be true. Check. -Allowed to be nerdy and geek out about literary illusions in pop culture: yup. -A little weird: hahahahahahahaha yes. -Ego: Not so much. I lack any sort of very strong ego, I think. Maybe those around me would say differently. I really have no idea. So there you have it, another day where I link to someone else's blog in an attempt to make my job easier. Now you all have more blogs to read and I don't have to write on mine as much. I probably still will, but the blogs I've linked to are better than mine. Oh dear, I just lost a bunch of readers, didn't I? Please come back to me! I promise I'll have new and witty things to say! But still read Mallory and Mama Anna's blogs. They're good. But mine's good too.

So I had something clever...

and then I forgot it. Don't you hate that? I know it occurred to me when I was talking to my friend Mallory (who also writes a blog, here. It's clever and awesome, even more so than mine) when this thought occurred to me, and I made a mental note of how I should blog about it later. Once I finally finished talking to Mallory and made it back to my room, my thought had left me. It's a right shame, too, as it was a real gem.

In other news, I no longer get to be a murderous four year old. If you're one of the many people to whom that made no sense, allow me to explain. This past weekend, I've been part of the One Act Play Festival held at my college. I played a four year old who wanted to kill his teacher (and, to be fair, she withheld juice boxes, left the kids alone for long periods of time, and was bipolar and an alcoholic. She kinda had it comin'). I got a lot of comments that I was excellent at playing evil. So it's encouraging to know that if my two main plans of church work and bartending fall through, I can fall back on my backup plan's backup plan, being evil and taking over the world. It'll be good times.

Um, I think that's it for now. So yeah. I'll blog again some other time. Adios!

Hey. How's it goin'?

No, I haven't forgotten about you guys, my semi-loyal readers. I've simply been very busy. This is the awkward conversation you have with a friend you haven't seen in a while. Not a best friend, as conversations there are rarely awkward. No, this is one of those conversations where you have a specific question or thing to say to someone, then after you get that out of the way, everything gets reeeaaaal quiet. So I'm currently typing this on a school computer as, you guessed it, my computer's acting up. Again. But it's ok, because I'm going to be sending it off soon to get it fixed under the warranty! Yay! So now I'm at a loss. I still have 9 minutes before I need to go walk to class, and I don't really have anything else interesting to say, other than my posts will be kinda sparse for a while, as I won't have my computer. But now you can go back and read your favorites! Yeah, that'll be fun. You can read your favorite posts of mine (maybe the ones with pictures, or the ones where I rant. Though the latter applies to most of them), and I'll wait anxiously for my computer to return to me, hopefully in working order. Hm. 7 minutes now. Maybe I'll just tell a story. Yes, here's the short story of the sparrow and the squirrel. One day, there was a sparrow, hopping about on the ground and looking for tasty worms to eat. Suddenly, he received blunt force head trauma and died. The cause? A squirrel had thrown his acorn at the sparrow for getting too close to the tree. The squirrel felt badly, as he hadn't meant to kill the squirrel, simply scare him away. However, he then remembered that animals are generally thought to be devoid of feelings such as guilt, and only possess survival instincts. He then proceeded to gather more nuts for the winter. The sparrow went on to decompose, and give nutrients to the grass growing where he had fallen. The end. The moral of the story is twofold! Firstly, don't get too close to trees where squirrels reside. They're bad news. Secondly, when you die and decompose, you give nutrients to the earth. Hm. It's close enough to classtime now. Adios, readers! This felt good...

Nebraska Winter, Texas Summer

So I compared the weather between my two homes today. That was a mistake. When I woke up this morning in Nebraska, it was 34 degrees and snowing. Oi. When I looked at the weather for Texas, it read 74 degrees and cloudy. Perfect. Then I really got to thinking about it.

I spend 3/4 of my year in Nebraska. Most of it is the part of the year people avoid the midwest and go south. Snow, wind, cold...it's all part of the experience.

Then I go back to Texas for 1/4 of the year: summer. The time when most sane people would move north and try to find a cooler area to spend their summer. Not me.

Now, I understand that this was my choice. I'm not denying that. I'm just asking myself why I didn't pick something the other way around.

Oh yeah, 'cause then I wouldn't have met some of the most amazing people in my life.

Hmm, well, alright. Carry on.

Snow

It snowed again last night. The world is once again covered in a blanket of white.

It's March, Nebraska, in case you missed the memo.

However, I understand that this is the way this region is, and have resigned myself to live under the cold, cruel hand of the weather, regardless of what it throws at us.

What I'm really looking forward to is hearing all the people from Nebraska comment on the weather. "I hate Nebraska weather," "Can you believe it?", and other such comments will be heard all day. Guarantee it. Nebraska weather is erratic, to be sure, but I wouldn't say I hate it. It can be pretty awesome at times, like the 70 degree and breezy day we had on, like, Tuesday. (yes, Tuesday it was 70, today it's snowy). And yes, I can, in fact, believe it. Unless we're all having the same bizarre dream, there is definitely snow on the ground outside.

And let's face it, if we were dreaming, it would not have been snow falling from the sky. It would have been cotton candy or chocolate, or steak. Or garlic bread!

But don't think I'll sit here quietly and endure the snow, oh no. I'll likely put on every shred of clothing I own, and run around screaming (especially at the visitors on campus today) that the apocalypse has come and we're all about to die. I'm from Texas, I can get away with stuff like that.

So that's how I feel about snow in a nutshell. Don't get me wrong, it can be gorgeous, and this will likely melt pretty quickly, so I'm not too worried about it. I'll just enjoy it while it's here, and be glad it showed up AFTER our fire drill last night, rather than before. Good timing, there.

Hunger

No, this is not a deep post about how I'm hungering for some mental or emotional or spiritual food. I've simply reached the point of night where I'm hungry again and should probably just go to bed in order to avoid eating.

Let me break it down for you. Maybe I'm an anomaly in this, or maybe I'm just telling you something you already know. Regardless, this is how it works:
-Eat dinner around 6 o'clock. Be full for a while.
-Around midnight, realize you're a little hungry again, but figure you're going to bed soon enough, it doesn't matter.
-An hour or two later, you realize you're actually starving. Your stomach is craving something (for me, it's garlic bread. It's always garlic bread. Or Chinese food.)
-You are now faced with a difficult decision. You could either eat and get fat, since you won't be doing anything to burn the nutrients you just ingested, or you could go to bed.

I seem to have a problem with going to bed, because I am finished with my homework and still planted in my chair. Probably for two reasons: A) it's comfortable. B) It's a pain to get out of my little cave/corner. I can't even fully open my desk drawer.

Before you say anything, I would like to point out that my roommate and I had to move all the furniture around by ourselves, and by the time I realized that I couldn't open my drawer, it was too late. I don't keep a whole lot in there, as most of what I need hangs out on my desk, rather than in it. However, sometimes it'd be nice to be able to store something in there.

Maybe if I talk about food, my mind will think it's actually eating. Now seems like a good time to introduce the world to a little thing I like to call "Fiero's Theory of Universal Ingredients." What is this theory, you ask? It's fairly simple. I believe there are three ingredients: chocolate, cheese, and bacon, that can go with anything. Even each other. Chocolate covered bacon? Yes please. Omelet with bacon in it? Delicious. These three things can fit into any dish, I'm nearly positive.

Do you have those foods you could eat forever and not get tired of? I do. Garlic bread is, I'm fairly certain, the highest on that list. But it also includes good, freshly made tortillas, crab puffs, and bacon. I could eat those things every day for the rest of forever.

Yeah, this isn't working. I'm now salivating, and my brain is definitely not being fooled into thinking it's eating something. I'm going to bed. I'll eat something tomorrow. Maybe it'll be something delicious. I might have to do some doctoring to the cafeteria food, that's always fun.

So hungry...

Unload

I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure how best to say it. I feel as though a load has been taken off my shoulders. As much as I want to talk about this, I'm not really sure how to put it into words. I just know that it feels great to have someone to share this weight with me. As unsatisfying as it may be to you, dear reader, that's about all I can say at the moment.

It's incredibly late, and my room is incredibly warm. I think that may be stifling my creativity. Which is a shame, because I have so much to say. Maybe tomorrow will be a better blogging day.

But you won't go away empty handed, oh no! For you see, I have a list of things I'm thankful for right now. You can have that tonight, and perhaps tomorrow or some other time I'll give you some form of what I wanted to say tonight.

-My best friend Micah, in whom I can confide anything and everything, as I found out today.
-My other really good friends at Concordia. LeAnn, Joey, Bethany, Caitlynn, Josh, Cayde, Paul, Cory, and anyone else I forgot to mention because it's 2:30 AM. I love you all. So much.
-My awesome girlfriend.
-My God-given abilities, such as cooking and writing and singing.
-My English teacher here at Concordia, Professor Smith, who has inspired me more than she will probably know. (Without her, you wouldn't have this blog. Fun fact.)
-My health and wealth (though it seems to me I'm lacking at times, I'm still better off than a lot of people).
-The basic things I take for granted, like having lived this long, been fairly healthy my whole life, the full use of my senses, etc.
-Most importantly, my faith. Without this, all of the above would mean absolutely nothing.

K. Now it's sleeping time.

Oi vey.

I'm not sure if I spelled that right, but that's how I always spell it. So I don't really plan on changing it too much, unless 2000 people tell me I'm spelling it wrong. Then I'll consider it. Until I get 2000 comments on this post saying that I spelled the title wrong, tough. You can deal.

I'm sorry, I dunno what my deal is today. I feel pissy and aggressive, and I don't know why. And I hate it. I want to just curl up someplace with a nice breeze and constant 72-74 degree temperatures and be there for a week. Maybe I'd write, maybe I'd sleep, but regardless, I'd be alone. Maybe a small island in the middle of the ocean. But the pretty ocean, like the Caribbean. Not nasty cold ocean or anything. There are places where people have built little houses out on their own tiny islands and they rent them out by the day. I think they're actually fairly reasonably priced, too. That'd be fun. I'd invite you to come with me, but that would defeat the purpose of me being alone, so you can't come. Sorry.

So I stumbled on a list of reasons why you should date a writer, then commentary on each reason as to why it's total crap. I don't want to post the full list here because I'm afraid of legal action being taken against me, seeing as it's not mine (see that? That's a disclaimer, and it's very important in noting that this list is nothing I made up), but I can post the link to where I found it. Here you go: http://www.rebeccarosenblum.com/2010/10/07/why-date-a-writer/

I do, however, have a bit of original commentary I'd like to add. For example, number 2? Totally true. I base characters on my friends all the time. but I don't tell them that, except that I just did. Basing characters on your friends can be tricky, seeing as how if you perceive some flaw in them that they themselves don't perceive, you can find yourself in deep shit. Quick. I don't know this from experience, but I can kinda imagine.

Number 10? Totally what I was just talking about. I love my friends and being around them, but sometimes I just need to be alone.

Number 14, yes. I like correcting common grammar mistakes. Maybe it makes me appear to be an obnoxious "English person," but oh well. Grammar is your friend, don't abuse it.

Number 16: yes. Writing=good. Speaking=bad. I hate speaking off the cuff. I can communicate so much better in writing (I think), it's not even funny. I prefer texting to calling, writing notes to a face to face conversation, etc.

So there's my thoughts on some of those list entries. It's a good list though, it made me smile.

I don't wanna be productive...

Weddings and Whatnot

This weekend seems like it's been a big one for wedding-type stuff. Two of my friends got engaged (congratulations, Marty and Heather!), there was a wedding celebration yesterday, and I believe there's also some wedding/bridesmaid dress shopping going on today (though the latter two I was not involved in). It's just really exciting. You know what else is exciting? Marty asked me to be one of his groomsmen when he and Heather get married. Even if that is, you know, a year and a half away.

I'm gonna be a groomsman, haha.

I have to get used to saying groomsman, rather than bridesman. You see, I was a bridesman (later changed to 'bridestud') in my friend Tori's wedding last summer. It was a lot of fun. Now I get to be involved in things on the "traditional" side of the wedding party.

Beyond that, I feel like I'm kinda in a funk right now, and I don't know why. I have awesome friends, a loving family back home, I finally know what I wanna do with my life, and I just got finished with a really stressful week. I should be feeling pretty good right now, right? Yet I feel like something's wrong. Maybe I'm just crazy. I dunno.

Well, I have homework to do and a schedule to plan for the next four years of college, so I'll write again later.

Paranoia

So I noticed that lately I've been having a difficult time concentrating on things. Well, it's actually more of a thing that I'm just now realizing, but it has been persisting for longer. I took the WebMD quiz about it (because that's obviously the final authority on matters like this), and apparently I'm at risk for having adult ADD. What if I do? It could seriously affect my adult life and productivity. That would also explain why I've had this posting window open for about 18 hours and am just now posting in it.

So my roommate Joey just said that he is going to start a new Friday morning tradition which might cause harm to me. I'm terrified. Also, he wakes up before I do, which could end very not well for me. Then he said it might have something to do with the song he's about to play, and he started playing 'Friday,' by Rebecca Black. If you haven't heard it yet, don't. It's possibly the most pointless song ever to exist. Incredibly catchy, but there's just no point to it.

Now it is stuck in my head. This is bad because it is Thursday, not Friday. Dang you, Rebecca Black. Dang. You.

I feel as though this post should be longer, but now I can't think of anything else that's important enough for me to blog about. You'd think my possible ADHD would be a help in my stream of consciousness thing here. Oh, I've got it!

Do you have those words you just can't seem to spell? I like to think of myself as a pretty good speller, but some words I just can't ever get right. Like occasion. Which I just spelled correctly, but normally I put one c and two s's. Or there's conciousness. I know there's an s in there, I just never remember to put it in. That's actually all I can think of right now, But I'm sure there are others.

Oh dear, look at the time. I have to go to class now. Bye everyone!

Edit: I was thinking about this post later and realized that I might come across as abhorring the thought of even having ADHD. This is not the case. I know a few people with ADHD, and they're absolutely wonderful people. So I wanted to make sure that I didn't come across sounding like something of a jerk in my opening paragraphs. This is me doing that.

Back in the Swing

So I'm back from spring break and now need to get back into the groove of posting regularly on here. If you're wondering what I did over spring break, here's a short list:
-Saw 'Mamma Mia!' at the Orpheum Theatre
-Sat around and played video games
-Worked on homework
-Ate a lot of food

If you weren't wondering what I did over Spring Break, just ignore the above list.

So remember how shortly before I disappeared for a week I was moaning about how my writing sucks? Apparently I'm the only one who thinks that. My classmates read what I wrote and loved it. My professor said that I seem very comfortable writing fiction (which I am). I'm not sure why I seem so comfortable in this imaginary world that I create. Maybe it is because I can control the way things go. I like to think that I try to stick to some sort of logic when I'm writing, but I do probably bend the rules at times. I like that. In real life, I can't control the emotions or actions of other people. When I'm writing, I can. I can do something like this:

"Why do you have to eat everything in the house?!" he yelled angrily, wanting nothing more than to see his fat friend out on the street, living on nothing but the blubber he had already accumulated.
"Oh, you don't mean that. You're just upset because your blood sugar is low," he replied, moving laboriously to wrap his 90-pound friend in a giant, fatty embrace.

And that's the story of the morbidly obese man and his 90-pound, 6'7" friend that I just wrote. It's a completely outlandish situation, to be sure, but it can happen because I said so. It's an interesting feeling. So there's my thoughts on writing. It's good for people who want to feel as though they're in control of something. There are other reasons to write, of course, but that may be why I write. To feel in control. Or perhaps it's because I really do have words to say, but I can't say them verbally. So I put them on a page. There I can rearrange them, find different and better words to use, and make sure my meaning is clear. Well, hopefully my meaning is clear. I think generally when I write, it is. Here it isn't so much, because I'm doing more of a stream of consciousness thing, rather than thinking and carefully planning what I'm going to put into this little white box on my screen.

Alright, that's enough interesting things from me for today. I haven't given you guys a good joke in a while (unless you count my short story above about the skinny man and his morbidly obese friend).

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs off. One cow looks around a bit, eats some grass, and then wanders off.

That's all for now, folks.

Spring Break!

So I'm heading off on spring break in the morning. Not sure how much internet I'll be able to have, so I'll be bidding you all a fond farewell. Don't cry too much, it's just a week. I promise, soon enough you'll have me back and saying all sorts of random, useless things! You could always read old posts if you miss me too much.

I meant to put more here, but I'm tired and still have to pack. I'll have a whole week's worth of stories to tell when I get back though, so don't worry too much.

You're Not Alone!

Despite the vaguely sinister title of this blog, I assure you, it's not. Those of you who are familiar as familiar with Final Fantasy IX as I am (which may not actually be that many of you, though I hope I'm wrong) will know it's the title of one of the best music tracks in Final Fantasy history. If you aren't quite so familiar with the FF games, now you know a little bit more.

I know I whine a lot when my friends leave. It's a flaw of mine. I miss those who aren't with me, and probably make the people who ARE with me feel bad. But really, we're not alone. We're connected by technology now. I've texted my friends multiple times since they left on their band trip. This is not coming out nearly how I want it to.

What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter how far apart you are from someone, or whether or not you have technology to keep you in touch. As long as you have memories of someone, they haven't truly left you. I'm not just talking about someone dying, either. If you're missing someone, just think of a laugh you shared, or an inside joke, or whatever. You'll find that they're a lot closer than you think. You'll find that your friends and family never really leave you.

I apologize if I'm coming off as overly sentimental. I'm listening to gorgeous versions of various Final Fantasy pieces, and they may be affecting my emotions. Also, I'm tired. And thirsty. Who doesn't put a drinking fountain in a dorm? But I digress.

Don't feel too sad if you're separated from someone you love. Chances are that you're on their mind, too.

What Happened?

So I'm giving you all a lot of posts now, since I won't be able to post next week. Just a heads up. If you feel like you really can only read one a day, just try to spread these out over the next week.

So I have the first draft of a short story due in my Intermediate Writing class tomorrow. I have my Independent Study in Writing, for which I'm supposed to be writing a half hour (at least) every day. I have various ideas for stories that I want to write. I'm working on a graphic novel with a friend. Yet with all the opportunities for writing, I can't find a thing I'm happy with. It seems as though no matter what I do, everything I write as of late sounds like complete drivel. Where'd my inspiration go? Heck, where'd my talent go?

Maybe I'm being overly critical of myself. I mean, "you are your own greatest critic" and all that. Maybe I'm just out of my genre. I really started writing last year around Easter. I started writing a fantasy novel. But lately I've been playing around with different genres. I'm working on a story about high school for Intermediate Writing, and I've got a story about someone losing his best friend in a car crash for my Independent Study. They're ok, but not the best things I've ever written, in my opinion.

Here, I'll give you all a small sample of some of my writing and see what you think. Maybe you have some ideas about how I can improve. Or maybe you think I don't need to improve and am doing just fine right now and am being too critical of myself. Here's a bit from my fantasy novel that I was writing. In the scene, the main character, Kaden, is talking to his sister Lyra about her apprenticeship. She's currently the seamstresses' apprentice. Dygio is the local bartender and Tiarnon is the local blacksmith, as well as Kaden's master:

“I hate it. Seamstressing, it’s so…” she paused, trying to think of a word hateful enough to convey her revulsion of the profession. “Well, it’s bad. You get to make all sorts of cool things, and I’m just fixing people’s old torn clothes.” Kaden put a comforting arm around his sister as he sat down on her bed. “You could always change, you know. You’re only thirteen years old; it’s not too late to find another teacher. Or you could just quit and help mom here around the house. She would probably appreciate the help.” Kaden offered his advice. Lira sighed. “Well what do you want to do? Tiarnon might be looking for a new apprentice soon,” he joked. His sister’s eyes lit up and she turned to look at him. “Do you think Tiarnon would take me on as an apprentice? I would work really hard, you know that! You should talk to him for me and find out!” Kaden removed his arm and put it on the back of his neck.

He hated to crush his sister’s hopes, but Tiarnon taking on his sister as an apprentice seemed unlikely. She was almost two years older than he himself had been when he first went to Tiarnon’s shop. In addition to that, there were several of the young boys who would be getting close to the age where they should find a teacher. Kaden though for a moment, then spoke slowly. “Lira, I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Blacksmithing is a very labor intensive task, and you’re a good deal older than I was when I started. Why don’t you ask Dygio? I bet he could teach you a thing or two.” Lira’s head drooped a little bit. “Well, that could be fun, I suppose. Maybe he’ll tell me some good stories, too! I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” Kaden nodded, encouraging her to ask the aging bartender to pass on his knowledge. Lira yawned and said she was going to bed. Kaden wished his little sister good night and left.

That was one thing he admired about Lira: she was able to find good in most bad situations. Training under Dygio wasn’t her ideal choice, he knew, but she seemed to get excited about it, anyway. He went downstairs to find his mom more composed than she had been earlier. She was reading a scroll at the kitchen table, Nanu asleep under her chair.

Nanu's the dog, FYI. So that's that. I'm actually pretty proud of that, to be honest. Now here's something I wrote this morning for my first draft that's due tomorrow:

An hour later and he was heading down to lunch. He looked around nervously for a place to sit. He had talked to a few people, but mostly kept to himself. It was only the third week of school, and he hadn’t had a lot of time to make friends yet. He was almost resigned to sitting off by himself once more, when he saw Evangeline just getting out of the hot lunch line. He gathered his confidence and walked over to her. “Hey Evangeline,” he said, hiding his utter terror at talking to such a beautiful creature. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

She smiled her brilliant white smile and nodded. “Of course,” she said. “I’m sitting over there, with Alex and Kate.” She led the way to the table where her friends were already seated. Alex and another guy from class, Tim, were having a conversation about the story of the latest video game. Liam was eager to join in. Kate was looking rather bored with the conversation, until she noticed Evangeline walking over, at which point she began to wave frantically. Evangeline laughed and set her food down at the seat next to Kate. Liam sat down across the table and next to Alex.

Liam is the main character here, and he has a huge crush on Evangeline. So what do you guys think? Is something missing? I know these are two different genres, and it's kind of hard to compare them, but it just feels like I'm missing something, y'know?

Also, I'm sorry if the different fonts confuses you. I felt like this would be the best way to show when I'm talking to you and when you're reading something else I wrote. You should leave me comments now. Be brutally honest, I can take it.