So I have the first draft of a short story due in my Intermediate Writing class tomorrow. I have my Independent Study in Writing, for which I'm supposed to be writing a half hour (at least) every day. I have various ideas for stories that I want to write. I'm working on a graphic novel with a friend. Yet with all the opportunities for writing, I can't find a thing I'm happy with. It seems as though no matter what I do, everything I write as of late sounds like complete drivel. Where'd my inspiration go? Heck, where'd my talent go?
Maybe I'm being overly critical of myself. I mean, "you are your own greatest critic" and all that. Maybe I'm just out of my genre. I really started writing last year around Easter. I started writing a fantasy novel. But lately I've been playing around with different genres. I'm working on a story about high school for Intermediate Writing, and I've got a story about someone losing his best friend in a car crash for my Independent Study. They're ok, but not the best things I've ever written, in my opinion.
Here, I'll give you all a small sample of some of my writing and see what you think. Maybe you have some ideas about how I can improve. Or maybe you think I don't need to improve and am doing just fine right now and am being too critical of myself. Here's a bit from my fantasy novel that I was writing. In the scene, the main character, Kaden, is talking to his sister Lyra about her apprenticeship. She's currently the seamstresses' apprentice. Dygio is the local bartender and Tiarnon is the local blacksmith, as well as Kaden's master:
“I hate it. Seamstressing, it’s so…” she paused, trying to think of a word hateful enough to convey her revulsion of the profession. “Well, it’s bad. You get to make all sorts of cool things, and I’m just fixing people’s old torn clothes.” Kaden put a comforting arm around his sister as he sat down on her bed. “You could always change, you know. You’re only thirteen years old; it’s not too late to find another teacher. Or you could just quit and help mom here around the house. She would probably appreciate the help.” Kaden offered his advice. Lira sighed. “Well what do you want to do? Tiarnon might be looking for a new apprentice soon,” he joked. His sister’s eyes lit up and she turned to look at him. “Do you think Tiarnon would take me on as an apprentice? I would work really hard, you know that! You should talk to him for me and find out!” Kaden removed his arm and put it on the back of his neck.
He hated to crush his sister’s hopes, but Tiarnon taking on his sister as an apprentice seemed unlikely. She was almost two years older than he himself had been when he first went to Tiarnon’s shop. In addition to that, there were several of the young boys who would be getting close to the age where they should find a teacher. Kaden though for a moment, then spoke slowly. “Lira, I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Blacksmithing is a very labor intensive task, and you’re a good deal older than I was when I started. Why don’t you ask Dygio? I bet he could teach you a thing or two.” Lira’s head drooped a little bit. “Well, that could be fun, I suppose. Maybe he’ll tell me some good stories, too! I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” Kaden nodded, encouraging her to ask the aging bartender to pass on his knowledge. Lira yawned and said she was going to bed. Kaden wished his little sister good night and left.
That was one thing he admired about Lira: she was able to find good in most bad situations. Training under Dygio wasn’t her ideal choice, he knew, but she seemed to get excited about it, anyway. He went downstairs to find his mom more composed than she had been earlier. She was reading a scroll at the kitchen table, Nanu asleep under her chair.
Nanu's the dog, FYI. So that's that. I'm actually pretty proud of that, to be honest. Now here's something I wrote this morning for my first draft that's due tomorrow:
An hour later and he was heading down to lunch. He looked around nervously for a place to sit. He had talked to a few people, but mostly kept to himself. It was only the third week of school, and he hadn’t had a lot of time to make friends yet. He was almost resigned to sitting off by himself once more, when he saw Evangeline just getting out of the hot lunch line. He gathered his confidence and walked over to her. “Hey Evangeline,” he said, hiding his utter terror at talking to such a beautiful creature. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”
She smiled her brilliant white smile and nodded. “Of course,” she said. “I’m sitting over there, with Alex and Kate.” She led the way to the table where her friends were already seated. Alex and another guy from class, Tim, were having a conversation about the story of the latest video game. Liam was eager to join in. Kate was looking rather bored with the conversation, until she noticed Evangeline walking over, at which point she began to wave frantically. Evangeline laughed and set her food down at the seat next to Kate. Liam sat down across the table and next to Alex.
Liam is the main character here, and he has a huge crush on Evangeline. So what do you guys think? Is something missing? I know these are two different genres, and it's kind of hard to compare them, but it just feels like I'm missing something, y'know?
Also, I'm sorry if the different fonts confuses you. I felt like this would be the best way to show when I'm talking to you and when you're reading something else I wrote. You should leave me comments now. Be brutally honest, I can take it.
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