Hey. How's it goin'?

No, I haven't forgotten about you guys, my semi-loyal readers. I've simply been very busy. This is the awkward conversation you have with a friend you haven't seen in a while. Not a best friend, as conversations there are rarely awkward. No, this is one of those conversations where you have a specific question or thing to say to someone, then after you get that out of the way, everything gets reeeaaaal quiet. So I'm currently typing this on a school computer as, you guessed it, my computer's acting up. Again. But it's ok, because I'm going to be sending it off soon to get it fixed under the warranty! Yay! So now I'm at a loss. I still have 9 minutes before I need to go walk to class, and I don't really have anything else interesting to say, other than my posts will be kinda sparse for a while, as I won't have my computer. But now you can go back and read your favorites! Yeah, that'll be fun. You can read your favorite posts of mine (maybe the ones with pictures, or the ones where I rant. Though the latter applies to most of them), and I'll wait anxiously for my computer to return to me, hopefully in working order. Hm. 7 minutes now. Maybe I'll just tell a story. Yes, here's the short story of the sparrow and the squirrel. One day, there was a sparrow, hopping about on the ground and looking for tasty worms to eat. Suddenly, he received blunt force head trauma and died. The cause? A squirrel had thrown his acorn at the sparrow for getting too close to the tree. The squirrel felt badly, as he hadn't meant to kill the squirrel, simply scare him away. However, he then remembered that animals are generally thought to be devoid of feelings such as guilt, and only possess survival instincts. He then proceeded to gather more nuts for the winter. The sparrow went on to decompose, and give nutrients to the grass growing where he had fallen. The end. The moral of the story is twofold! Firstly, don't get too close to trees where squirrels reside. They're bad news. Secondly, when you die and decompose, you give nutrients to the earth. Hm. It's close enough to classtime now. Adios, readers! This felt good...

Nebraska Winter, Texas Summer

So I compared the weather between my two homes today. That was a mistake. When I woke up this morning in Nebraska, it was 34 degrees and snowing. Oi. When I looked at the weather for Texas, it read 74 degrees and cloudy. Perfect. Then I really got to thinking about it.

I spend 3/4 of my year in Nebraska. Most of it is the part of the year people avoid the midwest and go south. Snow, wind, cold...it's all part of the experience.

Then I go back to Texas for 1/4 of the year: summer. The time when most sane people would move north and try to find a cooler area to spend their summer. Not me.

Now, I understand that this was my choice. I'm not denying that. I'm just asking myself why I didn't pick something the other way around.

Oh yeah, 'cause then I wouldn't have met some of the most amazing people in my life.

Hmm, well, alright. Carry on.

Snow

It snowed again last night. The world is once again covered in a blanket of white.

It's March, Nebraska, in case you missed the memo.

However, I understand that this is the way this region is, and have resigned myself to live under the cold, cruel hand of the weather, regardless of what it throws at us.

What I'm really looking forward to is hearing all the people from Nebraska comment on the weather. "I hate Nebraska weather," "Can you believe it?", and other such comments will be heard all day. Guarantee it. Nebraska weather is erratic, to be sure, but I wouldn't say I hate it. It can be pretty awesome at times, like the 70 degree and breezy day we had on, like, Tuesday. (yes, Tuesday it was 70, today it's snowy). And yes, I can, in fact, believe it. Unless we're all having the same bizarre dream, there is definitely snow on the ground outside.

And let's face it, if we were dreaming, it would not have been snow falling from the sky. It would have been cotton candy or chocolate, or steak. Or garlic bread!

But don't think I'll sit here quietly and endure the snow, oh no. I'll likely put on every shred of clothing I own, and run around screaming (especially at the visitors on campus today) that the apocalypse has come and we're all about to die. I'm from Texas, I can get away with stuff like that.

So that's how I feel about snow in a nutshell. Don't get me wrong, it can be gorgeous, and this will likely melt pretty quickly, so I'm not too worried about it. I'll just enjoy it while it's here, and be glad it showed up AFTER our fire drill last night, rather than before. Good timing, there.

Hunger

No, this is not a deep post about how I'm hungering for some mental or emotional or spiritual food. I've simply reached the point of night where I'm hungry again and should probably just go to bed in order to avoid eating.

Let me break it down for you. Maybe I'm an anomaly in this, or maybe I'm just telling you something you already know. Regardless, this is how it works:
-Eat dinner around 6 o'clock. Be full for a while.
-Around midnight, realize you're a little hungry again, but figure you're going to bed soon enough, it doesn't matter.
-An hour or two later, you realize you're actually starving. Your stomach is craving something (for me, it's garlic bread. It's always garlic bread. Or Chinese food.)
-You are now faced with a difficult decision. You could either eat and get fat, since you won't be doing anything to burn the nutrients you just ingested, or you could go to bed.

I seem to have a problem with going to bed, because I am finished with my homework and still planted in my chair. Probably for two reasons: A) it's comfortable. B) It's a pain to get out of my little cave/corner. I can't even fully open my desk drawer.

Before you say anything, I would like to point out that my roommate and I had to move all the furniture around by ourselves, and by the time I realized that I couldn't open my drawer, it was too late. I don't keep a whole lot in there, as most of what I need hangs out on my desk, rather than in it. However, sometimes it'd be nice to be able to store something in there.

Maybe if I talk about food, my mind will think it's actually eating. Now seems like a good time to introduce the world to a little thing I like to call "Fiero's Theory of Universal Ingredients." What is this theory, you ask? It's fairly simple. I believe there are three ingredients: chocolate, cheese, and bacon, that can go with anything. Even each other. Chocolate covered bacon? Yes please. Omelet with bacon in it? Delicious. These three things can fit into any dish, I'm nearly positive.

Do you have those foods you could eat forever and not get tired of? I do. Garlic bread is, I'm fairly certain, the highest on that list. But it also includes good, freshly made tortillas, crab puffs, and bacon. I could eat those things every day for the rest of forever.

Yeah, this isn't working. I'm now salivating, and my brain is definitely not being fooled into thinking it's eating something. I'm going to bed. I'll eat something tomorrow. Maybe it'll be something delicious. I might have to do some doctoring to the cafeteria food, that's always fun.

So hungry...

Unload

I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure how best to say it. I feel as though a load has been taken off my shoulders. As much as I want to talk about this, I'm not really sure how to put it into words. I just know that it feels great to have someone to share this weight with me. As unsatisfying as it may be to you, dear reader, that's about all I can say at the moment.

It's incredibly late, and my room is incredibly warm. I think that may be stifling my creativity. Which is a shame, because I have so much to say. Maybe tomorrow will be a better blogging day.

But you won't go away empty handed, oh no! For you see, I have a list of things I'm thankful for right now. You can have that tonight, and perhaps tomorrow or some other time I'll give you some form of what I wanted to say tonight.

-My best friend Micah, in whom I can confide anything and everything, as I found out today.
-My other really good friends at Concordia. LeAnn, Joey, Bethany, Caitlynn, Josh, Cayde, Paul, Cory, and anyone else I forgot to mention because it's 2:30 AM. I love you all. So much.
-My awesome girlfriend.
-My God-given abilities, such as cooking and writing and singing.
-My English teacher here at Concordia, Professor Smith, who has inspired me more than she will probably know. (Without her, you wouldn't have this blog. Fun fact.)
-My health and wealth (though it seems to me I'm lacking at times, I'm still better off than a lot of people).
-The basic things I take for granted, like having lived this long, been fairly healthy my whole life, the full use of my senses, etc.
-Most importantly, my faith. Without this, all of the above would mean absolutely nothing.

K. Now it's sleeping time.

Oi vey.

I'm not sure if I spelled that right, but that's how I always spell it. So I don't really plan on changing it too much, unless 2000 people tell me I'm spelling it wrong. Then I'll consider it. Until I get 2000 comments on this post saying that I spelled the title wrong, tough. You can deal.

I'm sorry, I dunno what my deal is today. I feel pissy and aggressive, and I don't know why. And I hate it. I want to just curl up someplace with a nice breeze and constant 72-74 degree temperatures and be there for a week. Maybe I'd write, maybe I'd sleep, but regardless, I'd be alone. Maybe a small island in the middle of the ocean. But the pretty ocean, like the Caribbean. Not nasty cold ocean or anything. There are places where people have built little houses out on their own tiny islands and they rent them out by the day. I think they're actually fairly reasonably priced, too. That'd be fun. I'd invite you to come with me, but that would defeat the purpose of me being alone, so you can't come. Sorry.

So I stumbled on a list of reasons why you should date a writer, then commentary on each reason as to why it's total crap. I don't want to post the full list here because I'm afraid of legal action being taken against me, seeing as it's not mine (see that? That's a disclaimer, and it's very important in noting that this list is nothing I made up), but I can post the link to where I found it. Here you go: http://www.rebeccarosenblum.com/2010/10/07/why-date-a-writer/

I do, however, have a bit of original commentary I'd like to add. For example, number 2? Totally true. I base characters on my friends all the time. but I don't tell them that, except that I just did. Basing characters on your friends can be tricky, seeing as how if you perceive some flaw in them that they themselves don't perceive, you can find yourself in deep shit. Quick. I don't know this from experience, but I can kinda imagine.

Number 10? Totally what I was just talking about. I love my friends and being around them, but sometimes I just need to be alone.

Number 14, yes. I like correcting common grammar mistakes. Maybe it makes me appear to be an obnoxious "English person," but oh well. Grammar is your friend, don't abuse it.

Number 16: yes. Writing=good. Speaking=bad. I hate speaking off the cuff. I can communicate so much better in writing (I think), it's not even funny. I prefer texting to calling, writing notes to a face to face conversation, etc.

So there's my thoughts on some of those list entries. It's a good list though, it made me smile.

I don't wanna be productive...

Weddings and Whatnot

This weekend seems like it's been a big one for wedding-type stuff. Two of my friends got engaged (congratulations, Marty and Heather!), there was a wedding celebration yesterday, and I believe there's also some wedding/bridesmaid dress shopping going on today (though the latter two I was not involved in). It's just really exciting. You know what else is exciting? Marty asked me to be one of his groomsmen when he and Heather get married. Even if that is, you know, a year and a half away.

I'm gonna be a groomsman, haha.

I have to get used to saying groomsman, rather than bridesman. You see, I was a bridesman (later changed to 'bridestud') in my friend Tori's wedding last summer. It was a lot of fun. Now I get to be involved in things on the "traditional" side of the wedding party.

Beyond that, I feel like I'm kinda in a funk right now, and I don't know why. I have awesome friends, a loving family back home, I finally know what I wanna do with my life, and I just got finished with a really stressful week. I should be feeling pretty good right now, right? Yet I feel like something's wrong. Maybe I'm just crazy. I dunno.

Well, I have homework to do and a schedule to plan for the next four years of college, so I'll write again later.

Paranoia

So I noticed that lately I've been having a difficult time concentrating on things. Well, it's actually more of a thing that I'm just now realizing, but it has been persisting for longer. I took the WebMD quiz about it (because that's obviously the final authority on matters like this), and apparently I'm at risk for having adult ADD. What if I do? It could seriously affect my adult life and productivity. That would also explain why I've had this posting window open for about 18 hours and am just now posting in it.

So my roommate Joey just said that he is going to start a new Friday morning tradition which might cause harm to me. I'm terrified. Also, he wakes up before I do, which could end very not well for me. Then he said it might have something to do with the song he's about to play, and he started playing 'Friday,' by Rebecca Black. If you haven't heard it yet, don't. It's possibly the most pointless song ever to exist. Incredibly catchy, but there's just no point to it.

Now it is stuck in my head. This is bad because it is Thursday, not Friday. Dang you, Rebecca Black. Dang. You.

I feel as though this post should be longer, but now I can't think of anything else that's important enough for me to blog about. You'd think my possible ADHD would be a help in my stream of consciousness thing here. Oh, I've got it!

Do you have those words you just can't seem to spell? I like to think of myself as a pretty good speller, but some words I just can't ever get right. Like occasion. Which I just spelled correctly, but normally I put one c and two s's. Or there's conciousness. I know there's an s in there, I just never remember to put it in. That's actually all I can think of right now, But I'm sure there are others.

Oh dear, look at the time. I have to go to class now. Bye everyone!

Edit: I was thinking about this post later and realized that I might come across as abhorring the thought of even having ADHD. This is not the case. I know a few people with ADHD, and they're absolutely wonderful people. So I wanted to make sure that I didn't come across sounding like something of a jerk in my opening paragraphs. This is me doing that.

Back in the Swing

So I'm back from spring break and now need to get back into the groove of posting regularly on here. If you're wondering what I did over spring break, here's a short list:
-Saw 'Mamma Mia!' at the Orpheum Theatre
-Sat around and played video games
-Worked on homework
-Ate a lot of food

If you weren't wondering what I did over Spring Break, just ignore the above list.

So remember how shortly before I disappeared for a week I was moaning about how my writing sucks? Apparently I'm the only one who thinks that. My classmates read what I wrote and loved it. My professor said that I seem very comfortable writing fiction (which I am). I'm not sure why I seem so comfortable in this imaginary world that I create. Maybe it is because I can control the way things go. I like to think that I try to stick to some sort of logic when I'm writing, but I do probably bend the rules at times. I like that. In real life, I can't control the emotions or actions of other people. When I'm writing, I can. I can do something like this:

"Why do you have to eat everything in the house?!" he yelled angrily, wanting nothing more than to see his fat friend out on the street, living on nothing but the blubber he had already accumulated.
"Oh, you don't mean that. You're just upset because your blood sugar is low," he replied, moving laboriously to wrap his 90-pound friend in a giant, fatty embrace.

And that's the story of the morbidly obese man and his 90-pound, 6'7" friend that I just wrote. It's a completely outlandish situation, to be sure, but it can happen because I said so. It's an interesting feeling. So there's my thoughts on writing. It's good for people who want to feel as though they're in control of something. There are other reasons to write, of course, but that may be why I write. To feel in control. Or perhaps it's because I really do have words to say, but I can't say them verbally. So I put them on a page. There I can rearrange them, find different and better words to use, and make sure my meaning is clear. Well, hopefully my meaning is clear. I think generally when I write, it is. Here it isn't so much, because I'm doing more of a stream of consciousness thing, rather than thinking and carefully planning what I'm going to put into this little white box on my screen.

Alright, that's enough interesting things from me for today. I haven't given you guys a good joke in a while (unless you count my short story above about the skinny man and his morbidly obese friend).

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs off. One cow looks around a bit, eats some grass, and then wanders off.

That's all for now, folks.

Spring Break!

So I'm heading off on spring break in the morning. Not sure how much internet I'll be able to have, so I'll be bidding you all a fond farewell. Don't cry too much, it's just a week. I promise, soon enough you'll have me back and saying all sorts of random, useless things! You could always read old posts if you miss me too much.

I meant to put more here, but I'm tired and still have to pack. I'll have a whole week's worth of stories to tell when I get back though, so don't worry too much.

You're Not Alone!

Despite the vaguely sinister title of this blog, I assure you, it's not. Those of you who are familiar as familiar with Final Fantasy IX as I am (which may not actually be that many of you, though I hope I'm wrong) will know it's the title of one of the best music tracks in Final Fantasy history. If you aren't quite so familiar with the FF games, now you know a little bit more.

I know I whine a lot when my friends leave. It's a flaw of mine. I miss those who aren't with me, and probably make the people who ARE with me feel bad. But really, we're not alone. We're connected by technology now. I've texted my friends multiple times since they left on their band trip. This is not coming out nearly how I want it to.

What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter how far apart you are from someone, or whether or not you have technology to keep you in touch. As long as you have memories of someone, they haven't truly left you. I'm not just talking about someone dying, either. If you're missing someone, just think of a laugh you shared, or an inside joke, or whatever. You'll find that they're a lot closer than you think. You'll find that your friends and family never really leave you.

I apologize if I'm coming off as overly sentimental. I'm listening to gorgeous versions of various Final Fantasy pieces, and they may be affecting my emotions. Also, I'm tired. And thirsty. Who doesn't put a drinking fountain in a dorm? But I digress.

Don't feel too sad if you're separated from someone you love. Chances are that you're on their mind, too.

What Happened?

So I'm giving you all a lot of posts now, since I won't be able to post next week. Just a heads up. If you feel like you really can only read one a day, just try to spread these out over the next week.

So I have the first draft of a short story due in my Intermediate Writing class tomorrow. I have my Independent Study in Writing, for which I'm supposed to be writing a half hour (at least) every day. I have various ideas for stories that I want to write. I'm working on a graphic novel with a friend. Yet with all the opportunities for writing, I can't find a thing I'm happy with. It seems as though no matter what I do, everything I write as of late sounds like complete drivel. Where'd my inspiration go? Heck, where'd my talent go?

Maybe I'm being overly critical of myself. I mean, "you are your own greatest critic" and all that. Maybe I'm just out of my genre. I really started writing last year around Easter. I started writing a fantasy novel. But lately I've been playing around with different genres. I'm working on a story about high school for Intermediate Writing, and I've got a story about someone losing his best friend in a car crash for my Independent Study. They're ok, but not the best things I've ever written, in my opinion.

Here, I'll give you all a small sample of some of my writing and see what you think. Maybe you have some ideas about how I can improve. Or maybe you think I don't need to improve and am doing just fine right now and am being too critical of myself. Here's a bit from my fantasy novel that I was writing. In the scene, the main character, Kaden, is talking to his sister Lyra about her apprenticeship. She's currently the seamstresses' apprentice. Dygio is the local bartender and Tiarnon is the local blacksmith, as well as Kaden's master:

“I hate it. Seamstressing, it’s so…” she paused, trying to think of a word hateful enough to convey her revulsion of the profession. “Well, it’s bad. You get to make all sorts of cool things, and I’m just fixing people’s old torn clothes.” Kaden put a comforting arm around his sister as he sat down on her bed. “You could always change, you know. You’re only thirteen years old; it’s not too late to find another teacher. Or you could just quit and help mom here around the house. She would probably appreciate the help.” Kaden offered his advice. Lira sighed. “Well what do you want to do? Tiarnon might be looking for a new apprentice soon,” he joked. His sister’s eyes lit up and she turned to look at him. “Do you think Tiarnon would take me on as an apprentice? I would work really hard, you know that! You should talk to him for me and find out!” Kaden removed his arm and put it on the back of his neck.

He hated to crush his sister’s hopes, but Tiarnon taking on his sister as an apprentice seemed unlikely. She was almost two years older than he himself had been when he first went to Tiarnon’s shop. In addition to that, there were several of the young boys who would be getting close to the age where they should find a teacher. Kaden though for a moment, then spoke slowly. “Lira, I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Blacksmithing is a very labor intensive task, and you’re a good deal older than I was when I started. Why don’t you ask Dygio? I bet he could teach you a thing or two.” Lira’s head drooped a little bit. “Well, that could be fun, I suppose. Maybe he’ll tell me some good stories, too! I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” Kaden nodded, encouraging her to ask the aging bartender to pass on his knowledge. Lira yawned and said she was going to bed. Kaden wished his little sister good night and left.

That was one thing he admired about Lira: she was able to find good in most bad situations. Training under Dygio wasn’t her ideal choice, he knew, but she seemed to get excited about it, anyway. He went downstairs to find his mom more composed than she had been earlier. She was reading a scroll at the kitchen table, Nanu asleep under her chair.

Nanu's the dog, FYI. So that's that. I'm actually pretty proud of that, to be honest. Now here's something I wrote this morning for my first draft that's due tomorrow:

An hour later and he was heading down to lunch. He looked around nervously for a place to sit. He had talked to a few people, but mostly kept to himself. It was only the third week of school, and he hadn’t had a lot of time to make friends yet. He was almost resigned to sitting off by himself once more, when he saw Evangeline just getting out of the hot lunch line. He gathered his confidence and walked over to her. “Hey Evangeline,” he said, hiding his utter terror at talking to such a beautiful creature. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

She smiled her brilliant white smile and nodded. “Of course,” she said. “I’m sitting over there, with Alex and Kate.” She led the way to the table where her friends were already seated. Alex and another guy from class, Tim, were having a conversation about the story of the latest video game. Liam was eager to join in. Kate was looking rather bored with the conversation, until she noticed Evangeline walking over, at which point she began to wave frantically. Evangeline laughed and set her food down at the seat next to Kate. Liam sat down across the table and next to Alex.

Liam is the main character here, and he has a huge crush on Evangeline. So what do you guys think? Is something missing? I know these are two different genres, and it's kind of hard to compare them, but it just feels like I'm missing something, y'know?

Also, I'm sorry if the different fonts confuses you. I felt like this would be the best way to show when I'm talking to you and when you're reading something else I wrote. You should leave me comments now. Be brutally honest, I can take it.

Nerd Love. They Say it's the Most Honest Love There Is.

So today's title is actually unrelated. I just like the quote, haha. Thank you Jordan for the inspiration.

I hate breaks from school. If they're longer than a few days, I want nothing to do with them, and here's why:
-I start off by bidding all my friends good-bye. I know I'll see them again soon enough, and we have ways of keeping in touch with facebook and cell phones and whatnot, but it's always sad when you have to bid someone you care about goodbye.

-Next, I have to pack. I dislike packing greatly. It seems like a big waste of time to pack stuff orderly, because I'll still have to dig around in my stuff to find it. Then I just unpack everything when I get to my destination. Seems like a waste of time and energy.

-Then comes the car ride. If I managed to find a ride home for whatever break we have (which I didn't for this spring break), I have an 11-13 hour car trip ahead of me. Sure, I just sleep most of the time, but that's still an incredibly long car ride. You sit in place for 12 hours and tell me how you feel afterwards. Not great, I'd wager.

-Then comes the week or two or three of month of whatever of being at home. While I do like going home every now and then, it tends to be full of people I need to see, things I need to do, etc. By the time I come back to school, I'm either out of things to do completely and bored, or I'm exhausted and just barely finishing everything I needed/wanted to do while I was home.

-Then I get to pack everything again.

-Then I come back, get to hang out with my friends for an evening, and start back to classes the next day.

It's a rough system, but someone's gotta do it. I won't go into detail about the times they kick us out (10 AM over breaks, if we're lucky). Or the times they let us in (again, 10 AM the day before classes start. Some of us have a 12+ hour drive...). I do love my school, and most of the people who attend it. But seriously Concordia? Oi.

I'm not sure why or how this turned into a rant about my college's break policies. Oh well. You guys got to hear me rant a little bit. That's why you're reading this, right? To find out what's on my mind or whatever? There you go.

Do I come across as jaded and cynical sometimes? I don't mean to. Those of you who know me (which right now is, I'm pretty sure, all of you) know that I'm not this cynical about things. I promise.